The Importance Accountability Part I:

Spiritual Accountability

Webster’s Dictionary:   n. The state of being accountable; liability to be called on to render an account; the obligation to bear the consequences for failure to perform as expected; accountableness.

 I'm writing first on the most important form of accountability.  Spiritual accountability.  Soon I will write on other types of accountability which are important, but secondary to our spiritual life.  

Ecclesiastes 4:8-10 is not referring to the married couple.  It is a generality—two are better than one:

 There was a man all alone;
   he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
   yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
   “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
   a miserable business!
 ⁹ Two are better than one,
   because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
   one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
   and has no one to help them up.

I HATE accountability.  I LOVE accountability.  No, I’m not struggling with schizophrenia.  Or am I?  :-)

I don’t think anyone will say they like accountability.  Accountability is hard.  Who wants to give an account for their actions?  Who wants to bear the consequences for failure?  So, why do I LOVE accountability?  Because I know it’s right.  I have chosen to love it.

First, accountability is not someone else coming in and telling you what to do.  I do not mean by accountability that I have to get permission to do things or that I have to give an explanation for everything I do.

What I do mean by accountability is that I make myself vulnerable.  I allow others to know that I am not perfect, that I struggle with the flesh, and that because of those struggles, I know I need someone to hold my feet to the fire.  I need someone to question me when/if I miss church.  I need someone to ask me if I’m seeking to grow closer to God through the reading of His Word.  I need someone there to lift me up when I am down.

Recently I have had some huge spiritual battles.  I have been self-focused and due to a lot of changes in my life, more susceptible to the devil’s ploy of discouragement.  I am not typically a depressive person, it’s just not my personality, but I have been battling.  I could not get a grip over my mind.  I could think of a lot of ways to “solve my problems” that would be much easier than God’s way!

This is where accountability and vulnerability comes in.  Am I willing to humble myself and let someone know that I need help?  Maybe all I need is to be distracted.  Maybe I need to be “preached to.”  Either way, I NEED.  God made us to need people.  We are not self-sufficient.   

As I contemplated my mood, attitude, spirit, struggle—whatever you want to call it, I was reminded of the reasons why people end up doing “stupid” things.  The battles can get so intense and you can feel so lonely during those battles.  Loneliness is debilitating.  Having someone that is just a text, phone call, or email away can be a big deterrent to actually doing something “stupid”.  When I told a friend that I understood why people did "stupid things", she said “No, people do stupid things because they don’t respond rightly to these moments by getting help.”  So very true.

I’m also reminded that people have to want accountability.  You can’t force it, but you can encourage it by modeling it yourself.  I want the brothers and sisters in my church to hold me accountable.  I want them to question how I’m doing spiritually.  I want them to ask me about my absence from church.  It isn’t always easy to get up and go to church.  As a single person, I can easily talk myself out of it—especially when I’m down.  I want people to question me.  I am so prone to wander.  If I don’t have the help of fellow believers, I will wander more easily and more quickly.

It is only God’s grace that allows me to accept accountability.  Honestly, my flesh would rather not have the accountability.  But, ultimately, I want to draw closer to my Lord.  I want to live in light of the Gospel.  I want my life to be an alleluia and make a difference in others’ lives.  

The only way I am going to have any real victory in my life is if I allow the grace of God to work in my life by making myself vulnerable to my brothers and sisters in Christ and humbling myself and admitting my need for help.  So, especially as a single person, I have chosen for myself to choose to be accountable.  I have verbally asked my church leadership to hold me accountable, and I have committed to accountability with several close friends.

If you are single, I encourage you to do the same. If you are married, talk with your spouse.  Come up with an accountability plan.  If you have singles in your church and friend circle, please minister to them.  They don’t have someone there beside them to lift them up when they are down.  They need their brothers and sisters in Christ, in some ways, even more. 

Practical Help:
Sit down and email 5 of your closest friends.  Ask them if they would be willing to ask you specific and revealing questions on a regular basis.

Look around your assembly.  Find someone that needs a friend and befriend them.  Develop a relationship with them.  Minister to them.  They may be on the brink of "doing something stupid" and in desperate need of a friend.

Make My Life An Alleluia

 “Depression”

I strongly dislike the word “depression”.  However, I use the word “depressed” all the time!  “I was sooooooooo depressed…blah, blah, blah.”  Seriously, I know nothing of true depression.  I have never really been depressed; discouraged, yes!  But depressed, no.  I’m a lot like Marilla of Anne of Green Gables “to be depressed is to turn your back on God.”  Pious, right? 

I have seen true depression, however.  It’s a terribly ugly thing.  I remember as a young person my mom and dad sending me over to the dorms in France to visit a young lady who was really struggling.  “Just go over and talk with her, encourage her…she really needs it.”  When I got there and knocked on the door, I found a girl who had just slit her wrists and was trying to die.  Needless to say, I was a bit shaken up!  I was young—probably 18 or 19.  How does one handle that type of situation? 

Many years later I walked in on a friend who had truly reached depression.  Not suicidal like the above story, but someone who was truly ready to check out of life entirely—not physically perhaps, but in every other way.  Again, what does one say in such situations?

Through the years I have come across many people who have allowed themselves to sink into a true state of depression.  Depression is no walk in the park.  It is not fake.  It is real.  So, how do we get there?  Why is it so prevalent in our society?

I believe it begins very simply, without our even realizing it.  The beginning of this school year was very difficult for me.  A co-worker and friend that was not just a friend, but someone who spurred me to good works was “excessed” by the county and had to leave our school.  (She later resigned as she and her husband were ready to start a family, so it turned out to be a good thing, but…).  In a secular environment, I knew that in her I could find an Oasis…someone who would encourage me when I was down and whom I could encourage when she was down. Now, I have great co-workers, but there are those few people in the world that you really connect with.  You think alike because Christ is at the basis of how you view the world.  Bonnie was like that.  We didn’t have tons of spiritual conversations, but I just knew she understood; that she was seeing the situation through the same lens I was seeing things. That is such a rare gift. 

With her leaving, I was really down.  It affected me much more than I anticipated.  Plus, there was great upheaval overall, and I fail to like change.  Plus, I got a difficult class and very difficult parents.  That made my life even worse.  Plus, the reality that I was just 3 years shy of 40, and I did NOT like my job was, well, depressing!  I disliked the environment I worked in.  I was discouraged by the language, the lack of respect for God, the lack of morality…Why, God, did I have to subject myself to this on a daily basis?  I was very spiritual about it, mind you.  I didn’t want to be in it because it was not good for me spiritually.  And, I wanted to be busy about serving the Lord.  I wanted to be more involved at church; I didn’t want to constantly feel the pull of “my job” and “my heart”—my church.

But, my outlook was skewed.  I was allowing myself to focus on the negatives in a situation and not thanking God for the positives.  My dad graciously reminded me that the reason I could do “things” for my church was because I had a job. I was failing to implement things that were normally completely natural for me.  I was getting so discouraged that I hated to wake up in the morning to face my job.  I used the word “depressed” because it almost made me feel better about my situation.  However, since I really dislike the word, I made it sound more spiritual—I made it sound more like I was searching for what God really wanted me to do with my life.

I believe a primary cause of depression is a lack of gratitude.  I am working on writing a whole article on gratitude, so I will just mention that on a cursory basis here.  We lack a heart of thanksgiving.  When we fail to see God in every situation in our lives, when we fail to see His Sovereign reigning hand, we become bitter.  Bitterness results from a lack of gratitude.  Lack of gratitude results from a lack of trust in God.

My question is then, how do I keep myself from becoming discouraged and downcast?  The Psalmist writes in chapter 42: 

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
   and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
   my salvation and my God.

I have found that a primary factor in my maintaining a spirit of thanksgiving is to be constantly giving praise to God.  And, my primary way of doing that is to sing.  I find myself quietly humming throughout the day—something that I had quit doing at the beginning of the year.  I was not “humming” I was “whining”.  I was rehearsing how bad my situation was rather than rehearsing on some glorious thought of what Christ had done for me.

As I began to meditate more on the Word, and as I began to meditate more on the words to hymns, I found my attitude start to change.  The situation has not changed at all, but my attitude in the situation has completely changed.

The other day I caught myself humming joyfully as I walked up the steps at school.  My mind was rehearsing the words to a choir number that had really spoken to my heart.  I suddenly felt this wave of incredible gratitude toward God for bringing joy in the midst of a job in which I feel trapped.  My mind began to race with ways that I could make my life an alleluia to Him.  That, my friend, is the greatest antidote to depression.  Am I working at making my life a song of praise to Him?

This song “Make My Life an Alleluia” by Ruth Elaine Schram has really impacted me over the past few weeks.  I would like it to be sung someday at my funeral as a true testimony of my life.  Read the lines of this poem and meditate on them.   Discouragement and depression will flee as we seek to follow Christ and bring glory to God in every situation of life.

Make my life an alleluia,

A song of praise to You each day.

To proclaim Your grace and glory,

Fill my heart with your praise, I pray.

When I stand at the mountaintop,

Or the valley of despair,

This will be my cry, my song, my prayer:

Lord, make my life an alleluia.

Make my life an alleluia,

A gift of love to you, my King.

I will join with all creation

In the song that the heavens sing!

The earth will turn, and the planets spin,

As the seasons ebb and flow;

Still, Your grace surrounds me as I go,

Lord make my life an alleluia.

Make my life an alleluia,

This off’ring of myself I give

I will share Your grace and mercy

For as long as I shall live.

When I come to my journey’s end,

May those left behind be reminded,

This has been my cry, my song, my prayer:

Lord, make my life an alleluia.

                                        Ruth Elaine Schram

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

I've always loved V-day!  I think it's one of the best holidays invented!  I know, I know.  People waste TONS of money on stupid flowers and chocolate on Valentine's day.  But, really, in spite of that, I think it makes people slow down and think about the ones they love.  I LOVE Valentine's Day! 

You can ask my mom--it goes way back!  My mom always made Valentine's Day special. She always made us homemade cards, served a special meal, and had us come up with special ways that we could show love to our siblings and our parents on that day but also in ways that would last beyond Valentine's Day itself.
As the years passed, I continued doing special things for Valentine's Day.  I often buy my friends a stuffed animal (that I know they'll throw away, but I do it anyway!!), chocolate, socks...something that will make them smile--even if they think I'm a lunatic.

So, what are your special plans for Valentine's Day?  Are you doing something special for someone?  Are you reminding someone that they are important to you?  Are you letting someone know you care?  Take time today to show those in your life that you care for them.  A quick email, a note in the mail, an e-card, a small gift card to their favorite coffee shop, a phone call, a text message....do something for someone today.  Let someone you care about know that you appreciate them and love them for who they are.

Make Valentine's Day special!

Busy about Service

Tonight I listened to a sermon by Joe Tyrpak on singleness.  Joe has a way with hitting the nail directly on the head! Wowzers!  I also recommend this one.  You'll think twice about getting married after listening to it! It was very encouraging, and it motivated me to write something that is/has been on my heart.

As a single person, I am aware that it is easy to be selfish and self-centered.  Because of that, I have purposed in my heart to do everything in my possibility to thwart those natural tendencies.  I am very well aware that EVERYONE struggles with self-absorption...but I also know that mothers are forced, whether willingly or unwillingly, to think of others and put other needs above their own.  For example, I just am totally awed at the selflessness of having to get up in the night with crying children.  I LOVE my sleep.  Do NOT interfere with my sleep.  If you want me to be a gracious, kind, helpful person during the day, then do NOT interfere with my sleep.  I repeat.  Do NOT! I find that my graciousness and my servant-mindedness are greatly thwarted when I do not get the hours of sleep that I think my body requires.  Losing sleep alone calls for large amounts of putting other's needs before one's own needs.  See my point?  Sure, I'll minister...as long as it is on MY terms.

So, how is it easy to be self-ish?  I don't come home to a mess created by others (I do come home to a mess, but it is, unfortunately, my own!);  I don't have to make sure that children are clothed, fed, and bathed;  I don't have to make sure the needs of my husband are met; etc....  Overall, I could very easily have a self-centered life.  It is natural.  It appeals to my flesh.

However, I long ago determined that I did not want to be the stereo-typical single female.  You know, the one who comes home from work, eats microwave meals in front of the TV while petting her cat, and acts, in general, like death warmed over!  (Not a whole lot of fear there for me, as I strongly dislike cats!)  And, the woman who, in modern times, updates her FB status with comments that "draw out pity" from others about their sink leaking and how "they need a man" to fix it!  (Or those that write stories about flying rodents and wishing there were a man around to take care of it!!!  :-) )  You may laugh, or you may be offended, but you know what I mean.  (And, please, I am not saying that all single women with a cat fall into this stereo-typical single that I am describing.  I know many who are not.)  But, unfortunately, I have known many who are--w/o the cat!

So, if I was not going to be this "old-maid", how was I going to avoid it?  What, exactly, was I going to do to make sure that I did not become this "old-maid"?  I quickly realized that I was going to have to be intentional about it.  I was going to have to make specific plans that would make sure I did not become that "old-maid" that I saw in so many around me, and that I found to be very un-Christ-like.

I went to the Scriptures first and discovered that singleness was a good thing.  And, you know why or how it's a good thing?  Because of the ministry to the Church.  God NEEDS singles in the Church to fulfill His plan in the Church.  That is an amazing thing.  In our Christian society, marriage and the family are highly promoted--and rightfully so--it is vitally important.  But in uplifting marriage our fundamental circles have tended to lessen the importance of singleness or at least have neglected the vitality and Gospel purpose of singleness.  What I found in the Scriptures is that Paul lifts singleness up.  He makes a very strong argument for the effectiveness of ministry that a single person can have that a married person cannot because she is tied down to the things of this world.  Those "things" are good things in their rightful place, but they do monopolize her time.  A mother's primary ministry is to her husband and children.  A single lady is not so encumbered.  I discovered that I had a purpose for being single.  That purpose was (is) to minister to the Church. 

That was when I purposed in my heart that I would use my singleness as God intended: to minister to the local Church.  I also purposed that I would work at not being a self-centered person.  I don't have the "built-in" aid of children "forcing" me to think beyond my own needs.  I knew that I had to be purposeful.  I had to plan.

So, I began.  I sat down and brainstormed.  What were some things that I could do that fit my gifts, my personality?  What were some things that I could do that would stretch me?  Take me out of my comfort zone?

I could: 

• have people into my home
• host gatherings
• fix meals for those who were sick or just had a baby
• get coffee with that "new" lady at church
• babysit so that a young couple could have an evening out
• send an email to someone I knew was discouraged
• work in the nursery
• get involved with a family that I could be an "aunt" to and minister to their family
• pray for the mothers of our assembly--that they would find joy and fulfillment as they minister in a sometimes thankless environment
• go out of my way at church to offer a word of encouragement to an elderly lady
• plan a luncheon for ladies to help them get to know each other
• teach a SS class (if that is a possibility)

The list goes on, but I'll stop there.  It takes some time and some effort, but it is the most fulfilling, satisfying, and exciting thing you will ever do.  When we are busy about the service of the Lord, when we are busy doing what God has called us to do, when we are busy being selfLESS, there is no time for being selfISH.

When I find myself getting down or lonely, I remember what I'm here for.  I'm here to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.  I'm not here to mope.  I'm not here to make others feel sorry for me.  I'm not here to be bitter, acting as if God has made some huge mistake, and I'm going to sit in my house and pout and feel sorry for myself.  At those times, when those feelings come, and they do come, I set about being grateful that God has deemed me worthy to minister to His Church through singleness; I set about ministering to others.

As I'm busy about service, I find that I am completely fulfilled, that I am full of joy.  I find that I am ministering to others in ways that I never even dreamed of.  I find that, even being single (!!!), I have a distinct purpose in Christ's plan.  The Gospel is furthered; God is glorified, and I am fulfilling my purpose in life: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

So, let's be busy about service, my single and married friends.  Fulfill to the fullest God's plan for you:  whether it is doing the thankless job of mothering or dealing with the loneliness of singleness.  In both, when looking at others and being motivated by the Gospel, we can find complete and total fulfillment and joy.

So, plan, be purposeful, be deliberate about service--if you're married--to your children and husband first (and hence the Church), if you're single--to others within the Church.  It will change your life; it will change someone else's life; it will cause you to glorify God; it will make you a ministry-oriented person instead of self-absorbed person.

Be busy about Service!

A Single Gal's Gotta Do What A Single Gal's Gotta Do!

I SERIOUSLY deserve the Good Neighbor of the Year Award!

Let me set the stage.

I've just finished a wonderful day of worship in the Lord's house, done some exercising, and working on a presentation that I have to make to the entire faculty on Wednesday of this week--that alone will probably be another "note"-- I am relaxing from the day and mentally preparing to go to bed so as to be ready for an incredibly busy upcoming week.

Suddenly, at 10:15 pm, my 70 year old widowed neighbor calls in a state of panic. 

Frankie: Donna, I don't know what to do.
Me: Frankie, what's wrong?
Frankie:  I don't know what to do.  There's something on my floor. I think it might be a bat.
Now at this point, I about drop the phone. 

Me:  A WHAT?
Frankie: A bat? I don't know--something like that.  I don't know what to do.  Oh, Donna.

Now at this point, my mind is reeling.  I WANT to say:  "Do you realize whom you are calling? I do NOT handle rodents, let alone FLYING rodents!  Seriously, could you not have called Animal Control?  They have professionals for this.  However, calmly (though my heart is already racing..)

Me:  Are you sure, Frankie?
Frankie:  Oh, I don't know.  I don't know what to do.
Me: [Trying to appear like I deal with FLYING RODENTS every day]  Just a minute let me put my shoes on.  I'll be right over.

 Now, this is the girl that cannot handle a roach--or as people around here like to call them Palmetto Bugs (say in high pitched voice with a southern accent)  (like a different name somehow makes them better).  WHATEVER.  A roach is a roach is a roach.  I do NOT do fast moving anythings.  Give me a spider ANYDAY!  This is the girl that changed her status every 2 seconds last year as she was panicked over a "noise" coming from the chimney and had to have a friend talk me through closing the flue...and SCREAMED taking out the eadrums of said friend as I closed the flue.  It ended up being a poor (right!) little frog which my cousin graciously removed from my house.

And now, you want ME to deal with a FLYING RODENT??  This is seriously going to take supernatural intervention.
I reluctantly put on my shoes wondering whom I would call if I were to find FLYING RODENTS on MY kitchen floor.  I walk over praying as I go--seriously.
I quietly--secretly hoping she wouldn't hear me--knock on the door.  And, I didn't want to scare said flying rodent--though I remember later that they are afraid of noise, right???  I need to ask my 5th grade boys.
Frankie: [hollering]  DONNA??
Me:  Yes, it's me.  Do you want me to go to the front door?
Frankie:  [Muffled scream]
Me:  Frankie????
Door opens.
I walk in and utter my diagnosis.  It IS a FLYING RODENT.  OH! What is a single gal supposed to do with a FLYING RODENT on the kitchen floor?????????????????????????????
Frankie has a blanket...I don't think a blanket is the best idea.  I won't know if I've picked it up or not and said FLYING RODENT will go flying around and completely freak us both out.

Frankie:  Do you think I should call John?
Me: John?
Frankie: John, our neighbor.
Me:  [Internally]  John?  Why didn't you call JOHN in the first place?????????????????????????
Me:  Naw....but how many single women does it take to catch a bat?

Seriously.  Is that even a joke?  Okay, I digress.

Me:  Do you have a bucket?
Bucket produced in somewhat panic stricken state.

Me:  Do you have a piece of cardboard I can slide under?
Cardboard produced in somewhat panic stricken state.

I approach gingerly making lots of noise--bats don't like noise, right?  I need to ask my 5th grade boys.
Bucket over FLYING RODENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am P.R.O.U.D. of myself!

But, said rodent is still IN the house.
 I slide a piece of cardboard under the bucket, but I catch the leg.  The FLYING RODENT goes balistic.  Oh, dear. This is possibly more than I can handle.

Me:  Poor thing--I caught his leg.  [OMW did I just say "Poor thing" about a FLYING RODENT?????]  Yikes!

I work to get said leg back under the bucket while keeping the cardboard firmly pushed against bucket. I am NOT dealing with a FLYING FLYING RODENT.

Mission accomplished.  Now, to pick UP the bucket and cardboard and FLYING RODENT.
Mission accomplished!  I am P.R.O.U.D. of myself!

I walk carefully out the door up and away from the house. I take a DEEP breath and pick up bucket and fling cardboard (w/o releasing it) AWAY from me.  Said FLYING RODENT squeals in delight--I'm quite sure it was "Why thank you, kind and brave and generous lady" as he flies or jumps or I-don't-know-and-I-don't-care away.

My heart is starting to return to normal though I'm quite sure I just shaved off about 5 years of heartbeats.
I think I need to go shower! Ick!

Granola

I LOVE this granola.  My mom made this when we were young from time to time, and we all loved it.  I now eat it for breakfast mixed with yogurt almost every day! 

GRANOLA

Pre-heat oven to 275F.

8 c. oatmeal (quick oats)

1 c. brown sugar

1 c. wheat germ (I don't usually put this in b/c it is so expensive.)

1 c. coconut

1 c. chopped nuts (I use walnuts or pecans depending on what I have on hand.)

Mix in large pan.  (My sister uses a cookie sheet, but I end up making a mess when I use a cookie sheet.)

Then mix:

3/4 c. oil

3/4 c. water

1/4 c. honey

1 Tbs. salt

1 Tbs. vanilla

Heat in microwave for a minute or two so as to be able to mix and get salt mixed in well.

Pour over dry ingredients.  Stir until moisture is evenly distributed.

Bake at 275 for 2 hours stirring every 15-20 minutes.  (I often cook it for about 1 hr. and then turn oven off and leave overnight.  Should be a nice golden brown with a delicious crunch when done.  Enjoy with milk, yogurt, on a parfait, or just as a dry snack.

CREPES

I made about 30 of these for my students the other day, and I thought I'd share.  I got some great pictures of them eating them, but I'm not comfortable putting their pictures on the web, so....

The story behind the Crepe Day holiday:

In France, February 2 is "Le Jour de la Chandeleur". (Origin from chandelier--light.) (It coincides with our Groundhog Day!)  The origin of the holiday is very mixed!  It has some Greek mythological things thrown in, but the Catholics made it into a holiday to celebrate the Purification of Mary--exactly 40 days after Christmas.  (A Jewish women was required to go to the temple to offer "purification" sacrifices 40 days after the birth of a male child.)  This became known as the holiday of blessings. 

As time passed, tradition and superstition replaced the religiosity of the event.  If the weather was nice on this day of blessings then an early spring was predicted and a good harvest.  If on the day of the Chandelle the weather was bad, there would be 40 more days of winter and the harvest would be bad.

The crepe was added as to help celebrate this 1/2 way point of winter and day of blessings.  It was round and yellow to represent the sun.  It was the promise that spring would come again!  So, now it has become know as "Le jour de la crepe."

Crepes are a tradition and major part of the French culture.  They are very easy to make and can be served in literally thousands of ways.  The most traditional way is to simply coat with a thin layer of sugar, roll, and enjoy.  More commonly people add nutella, peanut butter, honey, jams....and they are often used as meals filled with cheeses, ham, sauces....all kinds of fun and delicious ways.

Crepes

4 eggs

1 1/3 c. milk

2 Tbls. oil

1c. flour

1/2 tsp. salt

Mix well.

Makes about 15 small sized crepes.

It is best to have an official crepe pan, but a regular frying pan will do!  Crepe pans are completely flat and light with a very small lip making it easy to flip the crepes into the air! 

Using a napkin or a paper towel lightly coat the pan with oil.
Use a measuring cup (about 1/4c.) pour mixture rapidly, while turning pan around so as to spread evenly.

This is how thin it should be.  A crepe is not a pancake!  The crepe will slowly begin to dry out.  When the edges begin to rise, start trying to slide crepe around on pan.  When it slides as you move the pan, it is ready to flip.  (Sometimes you have to encourage it by using the edge of a fork.)  Flip over.  (I had no one here to take pictures of my flips, but I do flip them!)  Let other side sit on hot pan for about 60 seconds.

Slide onto plate.  Repeat.  Repeat. Repeat.... Before you know it, you have a nice golden pile!

Sprinkle with sugar, roll, and enjoy!  Yummy-ness!